Avast there, me hearty’s! Splice the mainbrace, pull up a bollard and settle ye’selves down: for I’ve tale to tell you that will shiver yer lubberly timbers for yer, or my names not Davy Jones. (Actually, it isn’t, but that’s beside the point).
Twas in the middle of the wettest summer that Old England had seen for many a day, that the good ship (i.e. narrowboat) Lazydayz cast of her moorings and got underway with her intrepid crew of Tremblings: Captain Paul, First Mate Annie, Deckhands Matt and Andy, and Ships Dog Blaze. The other member of the family, a lubberly soul named Tom, had something better to do with his time.
After many months of pouring over charts, wiping up the mess and then poring over them, they set out with this intent: to seek high adventure, to explore the darkest and most perilous waterways, to venture into wild and unknown realms, and hopefully to reach Leicester before having to turn round and bring the boat back.
A challenge indeed: and all the greater since the First Mate quickly discovered that steering without a wheel was a foreign art to her! (“Why does it go this way when you push it that way?”) So the Captain was left to do the driving, with the First Mate always on hand to tell him how he should be doing it. Twas fortunate that they didn’t have a gangplank… but, truth to tell, she did prove to have a fine seaman like hand for working the lock gates.
The crew, however, having stowed their gear, all mustered at the stern to watch the scenery go by. The Dog got his sea-legs (four of them) and then decided to try them out on the water itself: the quick-thinking First Mate threw him the life-belt, though it wasn’t clear if he knew what to with it! A rescue was quickly made: good practice for the next two times that Blaze jumped overboard!
Not that the Captain filled anyone with confidence when he managed to fall down the hatchway on their first overnight stop. Deckhand Andy trapped his finger in a door, but the prize for best injury went to Deckhand Matt, who let go of a winding handle at the lock gate. It came right back and hit him in the head: a quick ambulance trip to the nearest hospital followed! They did a shipshape job of sewing him up, and he now has a forehead scar to rival Harry Potter’s.
Strange to tell, in spite of all this they did reach Leicester and came back safely: but all were agreed it was a bit too much of an adventure – and nothing like ‘Lazy days!’
In fact, the First Mate found it so traumatic that she had to book a weekend in Wales to get over it. The Captain discovered that steering a boat was a lot easier than slogging up a mountainside: but everyone else enjoyed it, and even he had to agree that the view was worth it.
To be fair to the Mate, she has had a busy year with all her studies to become a Deacon, so she needed a break. Her hard work is paying off, she keeps getting good grades on her essays, but it’s still hard work.
Tom, meanwhile, having forsworn a life of adventure on the High Seas, has been putting a lot of time into his studies: he’s in the 6th form now, and planning to go to University in a year or so to do Media Studies.
Andy and Matt are both at the same school. Matt has been very enterprising, and has designed a new series of game-cards, called ‘Rakers’ which he is busily trying to promote (and sell!). Andy has settled in well to the new school, but he’s starting to find it frustrating to always be the youngest in the family. Not much we can do about that…!
And Captain Paul… apart from his nautical adventures, he has been expanding his literary endeavours and has had a short story published on an internet website. Look for it at eastoftheweb.com. He also let himself be talked into taking part in an amateur production of Terry Pratchet’s ‘Wryd Sisters’: appropriately playing the part of Hwel, a playwright!
An eventful year, all things considered, and if the canal holiday wasn’t quite the highlight hoped for, at least it was memorable!
Twas in the middle of the wettest summer that Old England had seen for many a day, that the good ship (i.e. narrowboat) Lazydayz cast of her moorings and got underway with her intrepid crew of Tremblings: Captain Paul, First Mate Annie, Deckhands Matt and Andy, and Ships Dog Blaze. The other member of the family, a lubberly soul named Tom, had something better to do with his time.
After many months of pouring over charts, wiping up the mess and then poring over them, they set out with this intent: to seek high adventure, to explore the darkest and most perilous waterways, to venture into wild and unknown realms, and hopefully to reach Leicester before having to turn round and bring the boat back.
A challenge indeed: and all the greater since the First Mate quickly discovered that steering without a wheel was a foreign art to her! (“Why does it go this way when you push it that way?”) So the Captain was left to do the driving, with the First Mate always on hand to tell him how he should be doing it. Twas fortunate that they didn’t have a gangplank… but, truth to tell, she did prove to have a fine seaman like hand for working the lock gates.
The crew, however, having stowed their gear, all mustered at the stern to watch the scenery go by. The Dog got his sea-legs (four of them) and then decided to try them out on the water itself: the quick-thinking First Mate threw him the life-belt, though it wasn’t clear if he knew what to with it! A rescue was quickly made: good practice for the next two times that Blaze jumped overboard!
Not that the Captain filled anyone with confidence when he managed to fall down the hatchway on their first overnight stop. Deckhand Andy trapped his finger in a door, but the prize for best injury went to Deckhand Matt, who let go of a winding handle at the lock gate. It came right back and hit him in the head: a quick ambulance trip to the nearest hospital followed! They did a shipshape job of sewing him up, and he now has a forehead scar to rival Harry Potter’s.
Strange to tell, in spite of all this they did reach Leicester and came back safely: but all were agreed it was a bit too much of an adventure – and nothing like ‘Lazy days!’
In fact, the First Mate found it so traumatic that she had to book a weekend in Wales to get over it. The Captain discovered that steering a boat was a lot easier than slogging up a mountainside: but everyone else enjoyed it, and even he had to agree that the view was worth it.
To be fair to the Mate, she has had a busy year with all her studies to become a Deacon, so she needed a break. Her hard work is paying off, she keeps getting good grades on her essays, but it’s still hard work.
Tom, meanwhile, having forsworn a life of adventure on the High Seas, has been putting a lot of time into his studies: he’s in the 6th form now, and planning to go to University in a year or so to do Media Studies.
Andy and Matt are both at the same school. Matt has been very enterprising, and has designed a new series of game-cards, called ‘Rakers’ which he is busily trying to promote (and sell!). Andy has settled in well to the new school, but he’s starting to find it frustrating to always be the youngest in the family. Not much we can do about that…!
And Captain Paul… apart from his nautical adventures, he has been expanding his literary endeavours and has had a short story published on an internet website. Look for it at eastoftheweb.com. He also let himself be talked into taking part in an amateur production of Terry Pratchet’s ‘Wryd Sisters’: appropriately playing the part of Hwel, a playwright!
An eventful year, all things considered, and if the canal holiday wasn’t quite the highlight hoped for, at least it was memorable!