Subject: The Trembling Family, AKA The Trembling Gang, AKA Them lot at no. 9.
Investigating Officer: Identity withheld for security reasons.
Background: Subjects have been reported to be engaged in suspicious activity in the local area, but with suspected international connections, particularly with countries in the former USSR. Surveillance authorised to determine full extent and exact nature of these activities.
Family consists of 6 members, each of which has been carefully observed over a period of 12 months. A summary of each individuals activities follows:
Paul Trembling (AKA, Dad, Old Grumpy)
The nominal head of the family, he is suspected of having attempted to infiltrate the Police by working as a Volume Crime Scene Investigator. The possible intention was to obtain intelligence about Police operations. If so, the exercise has been a failure, analysis of internal communications suggest that no one ever tells him anything.
Annie Trembling (AKA The Deacon).
The Treasurer and Financial Controller of the family, she has for many years run a childminding racket from the family home. However, it appears that she is now moving into new territory, having been involved (since January) in some form of alleged ‘training’ for the Methodist Diaconal Order. This shadowy organisation within the Methodist Church is clearly suspicious, since no-one can give a clear description of what a Deacon is or does. Though an ordained order, and thus not lay-people, they are also not Ministers or ‘Reverends’ . Annie Trembling herself has said that the Deacons represent the ‘Servant’ ministry of the Church, rather than the ‘Sacramental’ ministry. She has also taken to using lot’s of other long words: the suspicion is that some form of coded communication is involved. Research into this is ongoing, with the aim of finding out what she’s really up to.
Thomas Trembling (AKA Fuzzball).
Though still at school, (and apparently looking towards University in the next few years) this member of the family appears to be developing international connections. It is he who made a trip abroad this summer, to Moldova, in the former USSR. His alleged purpose was to take part in a two-week mission, working with a local church to build a children’s play area and run a children’s holiday club. Obviously, this was just a front to cover contacts made with the East European Mafia. The ultimate intention is still unknown, but to judge by the samples he brought back, the plan may be to begin smuggling in cheap alcohol.
It is worth noting that he had considerable support in this venture, not just from the family but from local churches and others: a sponsored bike ride and a car wash / coffee morning raised a large amount of money. Probably this was a surreptitious means of investing in the planned smuggling operation.
Matthew Trembling (AKA Motor Mouth)
Outwardly a normal schoolboy, this member of the family may be developing into a criminal mastermind of the most bizarre type. Examination of his papers has shown that he is in the process of designing a range of terrifying monsters and strange alien creatures. Should any of these plans be allowed to come to fruition, they may well present a major threat to world security. For the moment, however, they only exist in his weird but fertile imagination, and the only threat is to his parents sanity.
Another worrying trend is his involvement in a uniformed para-military organisation, known as ‘Cub Scouts’. The implications of this are still being considered.
Andrew Trembling (AKA Andy the Gap)
Long considered the cutest of the family, Andrew is growing up rapidly, and starting to lose his cuteness! His nickname has been gained since he lost his front teeth: he claims that they ‘just fell out’ and were afterwards sold to the ‘Tooth Fairy’. No legitimate business or organisation has yet been identified under this name, and there is no known legal market for used teeth. The most likely explanation is that the teeth were lost during gang warfare or a pub brawl.
This individual spends a lot of his time doing ‘Word Searches’. It is believed that he is actually decoding secret messages from other criminal groups. Research is ongoing.
He has also developed paramilitary links, in his case with a group known as ‘Beavers’. He may be involved in his brother’s plot to take over the world, or he may have his own plans in that regard.
Blaze (AKA Dogface, Dog Breath, Oddbins (for the large variety of whines he has)).
With his four legs, black fur and dog-eared face, Blaze is the most distinctive member of the family (apart from Tom with his Afro), and the youngest. And smelliest. Also the most energetic, with the capacity to run long distances at full speed, given the chance. Being in charge of security for the family, he will interrogate any visitor, using by leaping up at them and giving them a nasty lick.
Conclusion. We still have no knowledge of what this family is doing. Much of the time, neither do they. It is to be hoped that Someone Up There does know – at least, that’s what ‘Dad’ keeps saying! Perhaps the New Year will bring some clarity?!
Investigating Officer: Identity withheld for security reasons.
Background: Subjects have been reported to be engaged in suspicious activity in the local area, but with suspected international connections, particularly with countries in the former USSR. Surveillance authorised to determine full extent and exact nature of these activities.
Family consists of 6 members, each of which has been carefully observed over a period of 12 months. A summary of each individuals activities follows:
Paul Trembling (AKA, Dad, Old Grumpy)
The nominal head of the family, he is suspected of having attempted to infiltrate the Police by working as a Volume Crime Scene Investigator. The possible intention was to obtain intelligence about Police operations. If so, the exercise has been a failure, analysis of internal communications suggest that no one ever tells him anything.
Annie Trembling (AKA The Deacon).
The Treasurer and Financial Controller of the family, she has for many years run a childminding racket from the family home. However, it appears that she is now moving into new territory, having been involved (since January) in some form of alleged ‘training’ for the Methodist Diaconal Order. This shadowy organisation within the Methodist Church is clearly suspicious, since no-one can give a clear description of what a Deacon is or does. Though an ordained order, and thus not lay-people, they are also not Ministers or ‘Reverends’ . Annie Trembling herself has said that the Deacons represent the ‘Servant’ ministry of the Church, rather than the ‘Sacramental’ ministry. She has also taken to using lot’s of other long words: the suspicion is that some form of coded communication is involved. Research into this is ongoing, with the aim of finding out what she’s really up to.
Thomas Trembling (AKA Fuzzball).
Though still at school, (and apparently looking towards University in the next few years) this member of the family appears to be developing international connections. It is he who made a trip abroad this summer, to Moldova, in the former USSR. His alleged purpose was to take part in a two-week mission, working with a local church to build a children’s play area and run a children’s holiday club. Obviously, this was just a front to cover contacts made with the East European Mafia. The ultimate intention is still unknown, but to judge by the samples he brought back, the plan may be to begin smuggling in cheap alcohol.
It is worth noting that he had considerable support in this venture, not just from the family but from local churches and others: a sponsored bike ride and a car wash / coffee morning raised a large amount of money. Probably this was a surreptitious means of investing in the planned smuggling operation.
Matthew Trembling (AKA Motor Mouth)
Outwardly a normal schoolboy, this member of the family may be developing into a criminal mastermind of the most bizarre type. Examination of his papers has shown that he is in the process of designing a range of terrifying monsters and strange alien creatures. Should any of these plans be allowed to come to fruition, they may well present a major threat to world security. For the moment, however, they only exist in his weird but fertile imagination, and the only threat is to his parents sanity.
Another worrying trend is his involvement in a uniformed para-military organisation, known as ‘Cub Scouts’. The implications of this are still being considered.
Andrew Trembling (AKA Andy the Gap)
Long considered the cutest of the family, Andrew is growing up rapidly, and starting to lose his cuteness! His nickname has been gained since he lost his front teeth: he claims that they ‘just fell out’ and were afterwards sold to the ‘Tooth Fairy’. No legitimate business or organisation has yet been identified under this name, and there is no known legal market for used teeth. The most likely explanation is that the teeth were lost during gang warfare or a pub brawl.
This individual spends a lot of his time doing ‘Word Searches’. It is believed that he is actually decoding secret messages from other criminal groups. Research is ongoing.
He has also developed paramilitary links, in his case with a group known as ‘Beavers’. He may be involved in his brother’s plot to take over the world, or he may have his own plans in that regard.
Blaze (AKA Dogface, Dog Breath, Oddbins (for the large variety of whines he has)).
With his four legs, black fur and dog-eared face, Blaze is the most distinctive member of the family (apart from Tom with his Afro), and the youngest. And smelliest. Also the most energetic, with the capacity to run long distances at full speed, given the chance. Being in charge of security for the family, he will interrogate any visitor, using by leaping up at them and giving them a nasty lick.
Conclusion. We still have no knowledge of what this family is doing. Much of the time, neither do they. It is to be hoped that Someone Up There does know – at least, that’s what ‘Dad’ keeps saying! Perhaps the New Year will bring some clarity?!