Chairman of the Board: Mr Paul H. Trembling
(Thinks he’s in charge)
Managing Director & Financial Controller: Annie Trembling
(Know’s who’s in charge)
Senior Corporate President: Thomas A. Trembling
(Thinks he should be in charge)
Executive Vice-President: Matthew W. Trembling
(Doesn’t want anyone in charge)
Junior Vice-President: Andrew P. Trembling
(Is happy for anyone to be in charge, as long as they feed him cake)
1. The Chairman opened the meeting with a review of the year. He stated that it had been an unusually difficult year for the Corporation. In particular, there had been the sad loss of a fellow member of the Board, Hoppy Rabbit, who passed away from natural causes at the great age of four years. The Chairman thanked the Executive and Junior Vice-Presidents for providing gravestones, which can be seen at the bottom of the garden, a place that Hoppy many times tried to escape to. The Chairman noted that Hoppy was greatly missed by the whole Corporation, not least because he was the only one who never complained about his food.
2. At this point, the Executive Vice-President said he was hungry, and asked if he could have something to eat. The Managing Director told him to wait until the end of the meeting. The Junior Vice-President asked if there was any cake. The Managing Director said wait and see.
3. Continuing, the Chairman noted that there had also been problems in the Transport department, when the old car was written off by some nameless person who, after the crash, hadn’t stayed around to take the credit. However, it was noted that at least the Chairman had not been hurt.
4. The Senior Corporate President then delivered his report. During the year he has taken up playing Warhammer, and has produced some very well painted (if somewhat gruesome) figures. He’s also taken up basketball, and is still developing his talents with the guitar. Future projects include a school trip to Germany next year. He noted that some of this has been financed by himself, from his paper-round. The Financial Director agreed that this was commendable, but pointed out that he was still being supported to a large extent by the Corporation, and would have to stop asking for things all the time.
5. The Junior Vice-President asked if there was any cake. The Executive Vice-President said that if the Junior Vice-President had cake, then he wanted some as well. The Managing Director informed the Board that there would be no cake for anyone until the meeting was over.
6. The Executive Vice-President reported that he had started at a new school this year. After an initially difficult time, he was now settling in quite well, and was looking forward to joining the Art Club next term.
7. The Junior Vice-President reported that he had started school, and really liked it, though it sometimes made him a bit tired. However, he usually felt better after a bit of cake? His reading is coming on particularly well. In the school Christmas Play he will be playing Joseph. He wanted to be Shepherd Little, but the Managing Director said he could be that in the Sunday School Christmas Play.
8. The Managing Director said it was good to see all the Junior Corporate Officers doing so well in their scholastic careers, but noted there was now a lot more uniforms to keep washed and ironed, and encouraged all members of the board to take better care of their clothing.
9. The Managing Director’s report noted that work in the Sunday School and Youth Group continued. A ‘Youth Alpha’ course has been running since October, with encouraging numbers coming. She has also been quite busy child-minding, with several new corporate clients, including one very cute baby, now 9 months old. She is now looking forward to a trip to Australia to see her sister Pam. This will take place in February 2005, and will give the Chairman chance to be really in charge for two weeks. She expressed some concern about this. The Chairman assured her that matters were well in hand, and that a large supply of cakes had been ordered from his mum.
10. The Junior Vice-President asked if he could have some of Grandma’s cake now. The Executive Vice-President said that he should have a bigger bit of cake, as he was older. The Junior Vice-President expressed an opinion that this was unfair. There was some discussion on this issue. The Managing Director concluded the discussion by pointing out she was older than both of them, but neither she or the Chairman would be having much cake because they needed to lose weight. The Chairman expressed disappointment at this.
11. The Chairman informed the meeting that his promotion at the beginning of the year (from Assistant Scenes of Crime Officer to Volume Scenes of Crime Officer: this in his other, less important but better paid job for Nottinghamshire Police) had given him a lot more variety in his work: in addition to stolen cars, he was now examining burglary scenes and taking photographs of crime scenes and assault injuries. He is still preaching about once a month – the next occasion will be Boxing Day.
12. The Chairman asked if there was any other business, apart from cake. The Senior Corporate President said that he fancied a pizza. This suggestion was well received, and the meeting then adjourned.